holiday finally over. now come with a new day doing the same routine(study and doing assigment.cant wait). one thing i am sure of is that the memories i pick during holiday is unforgetable. i will always remember the times i spend at melaka camp organize by tarc cf. i meet new friends and gain experience. there i first handed witness what faith is and its power though i my self seldom associate with that word. i always feel an emptiness whithin me .i hope one day i could feel it with something good.i hope it faith. the camp was avesome especially the food. it is incredible.too bad certain someone not allow me to have more than two helping. no doubt the camp is fun with all those games and testimony sharing. i especially enjoy them the one about treasure hunt and all. thought i was exhausted and always get yell by A i feel fun. but the momment was temporary. even in the camp i cant seperate emptiness from me. when i said i never forget this memories is because it the first time i feel connected to God somehow. but i do not feel i was change or transfrom like one of the speaker say he and others felt. as usual, i feel dettach from the world.issolated. A lone ranger and i dont like it.you may asked what about your friend? well frankly speaking almost all my friends i feel they are mocking me no matter new friends which i made in college or old friends which i made in my old school and other places. do you know the when eyes of a person who judge another person inferior is is an cold and icy stare almost that he is annoying and their voice bear the message of please go away you not wanted.most of them seem to be mocking me and doesnt give me change to show my talent. of course thre is a few exception and i tressure them.sure i mees up but that doesnt mean i do not work for it. i can see in their tones nd eyes they think i am not emmm shall i say not very bright. but that not how i saw my self. i think if given one more changes i can do very well. even what i wrote here does not attract readers. but fortune born out of unfortunate i guess. that way nobody knows my true feeling. if they saw this i am sure they will said this is my own fault. i done this wrong that wrong. but i tell you i always tried my best. all i want is adknowledgement from another people. a good friend. a friend which share the same soul and trouble. those kind you called soul siblings which i sought for long time and failed. i hope i find them soon but most probably i failed like i always do. i know probaly no one will read this stuff i wrote, but i hope those who read them will not humiliate me furthermore by laughing at me and my cries of lonliness and think i deserve it.